Confessions From a Motherless Grown Up Daughter
- I don't make the beds every day.
- I don't keep the bathrooms as clean as I should.
- I use swear words.
- I don't eat all my fruits and veggies every day.
- I drink too much wine (but only sometimes).
- Yes, way too much.
- I have gotten away with a white lie or two (cause you aren't here to catch me like you always did)
- You always did.
- I don't like all of the recipes you handed down to me.
- But I love most of them.
- I am a really bad procrastinator.
- Sometimes I am not as smart with my money, as you tried to teach me.
- But usually I am.
- I have worn your diamond engagement & wedding rings since the day you died. I took them off your hand, placed them on my right hand.
- I have not missed a day.
- Your diamond is bigger than mine.
- I have the world's worst filing system.
- I am a packrat (you taught me well there).
- I am still a terrible singer, you also granted me that lack of talent.
- I want my children to explore, discover, experience, and believe in everything, just as I did as a child. I am not convinced I am doing as good a job as you did, but I am doing my best.
- I bought fridge magnets that say that.
- Blogger won't let me upload that picture right now. Blogger sucks.
- I don't exercise as much as I should.
- I should be healthier.
- I should volunteer more.
- I don't wear short pants. Did I ever tell you I think all of your pants were too short?
- I whine and complain too much, even though I have more than I could ever dream of.
- You NEVER complained. Never.
- I think I am a better dancer than you.
- I pay my bills on time.
- I have overdue library books.
- I have a crush on a 16 year old lifeguard...
- ...and Anderson Cooper. Is he gay? Not that there is anything wrong with that.
- I still cannot watch a movie without eating or nibbling on something. Neither could you.
- I stay up waaaay too late at night.
- I want to spoil my children.
- You taught me not to, and how not to. I hope I am doing a good job.
- I still talk too much, often putting my foot in my mouth. You were never afraid to tell me to shut up.
- I think of you as much as I would if you were still alive.
- Maybe more.
- I want to give you more grandchildren, even though you will never meet them, in person.
- I still talk to you. Out loud.
- I still ask for guidance.
- I ask you to look over my family and other special friends who need it.
- I believe you do.
- I miss you that it hurts physically. Not just a saying, it really does.
- I love you. Not loved, as in past tense, but love you.
- More.
posted by nancy at 9:22 PM
13 Comments:
{{{{{ HUGS }}}}}}
Can't say more than that ...words fail me.
(sighs with longing.) How lucky you are to have had a good mother. And your boys are lucky to have you.
Oh Nancy...
I think that was the best post ever - in your blog or anybody's. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. And I'm nodding along to *so* *many* of your points.
That was so hard to read, but so good to read, too.
Thanx everyone...that post comes across a little more 'sad' than it was intended, but it still means a lot to me.
Dani - you also have a crush on Anderson Cooper? or is it the lifeguard?
beautifully said nancy
Nancy,
I read this at work and couldn't get a the comments to load.
I had tears in my eyes reading it. I can only imagine losing my mom....
Hugs to you
Barb
Brilliant. Thank you, Nancy.
Thanx so much yourselves, I too also love this post.
oh (found ya via twin mom)
huge love to you. i have a prickly nose now. and tears threatening to spill over.
and seeing we're doin confessions: i have a huge crush on captain jack sparrow...
Your Mom would be so proud of you.
What a great post! Are we twins? There are so many things on your list that describe me to a T.
No tears at 9 am. It's my rule. And here you made me break it. Pooh.
Beautifully written, Nancy.
Nance, your mom would so think you are doing just as good a job as she did!! We all do the best we can.
Beautiful post!! Brought tears to my eyes and goose bumps all over!
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