Mean
I am so mean. According to my son, I am just oh, so very mean. It doesn't matter what it is I do, I am just mean.
I have tried various responses such as:
(1) explaining the meaning of 'mean' and the proper way/reasons to use it
no success
(2) using examples of all the wonderful things I do for him, and then asking him if that makes me mean
limited success, he concedes that I am really not mean, will use alternate wording for about 18 seconds and then reverts back to usual terms
(3) jumping up & down while hootin' and hollering "Hurray!! It's working! I have been trying so hard for so long, and really practicing at being the meanest Mommy ever and it is finally working! Do I get a prize?"
while this has worked for some of my friends, my sons just look at me with an expression that pretty much says "Man, you are just really stupid"
(4) Laughing my head off at him, and cause it was just really really funny! Time to put the hose away, we need to go inside and get cleaned up and ready for bed, and he LOST it, yelling over & over "You are SO mean!" so yes, not sure if it was the right response or not, but it was just so funny as I was hanging up the hose I couldn't stop laughing. He didn't like that and asked me to stop laughing. At least he stopped saying I was mean!
So, what do you do? How do you respond? I am really not all that bothered with it, more a little amused. I know it will pass, but dish it out, what do you say?
And you can be really mean if you want to.
I have tried various responses such as:
(1) explaining the meaning of 'mean' and the proper way/reasons to use it
no success
(2) using examples of all the wonderful things I do for him, and then asking him if that makes me mean
limited success, he concedes that I am really not mean, will use alternate wording for about 18 seconds and then reverts back to usual terms
(3) jumping up & down while hootin' and hollering "Hurray!! It's working! I have been trying so hard for so long, and really practicing at being the meanest Mommy ever and it is finally working! Do I get a prize?"
while this has worked for some of my friends, my sons just look at me with an expression that pretty much says "Man, you are just really stupid"
(4) Laughing my head off at him, and cause it was just really really funny! Time to put the hose away, we need to go inside and get cleaned up and ready for bed, and he LOST it, yelling over & over "You are SO mean!" so yes, not sure if it was the right response or not, but it was just so funny as I was hanging up the hose I couldn't stop laughing. He didn't like that and asked me to stop laughing. At least he stopped saying I was mean!
So, what do you do? How do you respond? I am really not all that bothered with it, more a little amused. I know it will pass, but dish it out, what do you say?
And you can be really mean if you want to.
posted by nancy at 11:47 PM
5 Comments:
so far Little Man has not started really telling us how we are acting, so I cannot say. I am sure at some point and time all 4 of those will occur, probably with a 5th alternative of saying, "You wanna see MEAN?!?! I will give you mean..."
That being said, his lip starts to tremble when he feels like we have wronged him. It is sooooooo cute. It just makes us want to snatch him up and love on him, which is counter to his wants at those moments
I like all four responses, myself, but number four seems like the most effective response. I don't get the "you're mean" so much as "everybody's mean to me" (the martyr thing.) I've tried to explain how *not* mean we are, but it's obvious he's not listening.
And, by the way, if you think this is a phase, let's talk again in ten or a dozen years and we'll compare notes!! The first time you deny them the family car keys for a hot date, I'm guessing you'll get a rather similar variation on the same theme - maybe even with expletives, if you're really lucky!
Let me see...you had a hose in your hand, and possibly it still had one surge of water left in it. He was practically asking for it...and you didn't provide an illustrative, practical and active demonstration of mean then and there?
(you know the address to send my Parent of the Year award to, right?)
"MOMMY YOUR SO MEAN! Your supposed to say YES to eveything I say~!" That's what I get. And lots of it. And if someone else says no he says "YOUR SO MEAN" and runs to me and tells me why...which adds up to him not getting his way again.
I look at him and say YEAH I'm MEAN that's what mommys are suppose to be. And then "I get well If you won't do it I'm never ever going to be your Friend ever again!" (Great grammar huh?) Then I say that's ok I'm not your friend I'm your Mommy, and walk away to the pleasant sound of my son screaming at me in frustartion to which he ends up in his time out step for yelling at his MEAN Mommy.
So when you figure out how to stop this and I get it too work I'll send yout he parent of the year award. ;)
The two or so time that this has happened I have just said, "It is because I love you." This make him very confused and usually ends up with him hugging and kissing me. Gotta love that.
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