Eiuw Eiuw - day 4
Little White Lies
OK fess up....what either recent little fib have you told, or perhaps one that has been nagging at you for years. Spill it. Why not "anonymousfy" yourself just in case...I just wanna hear it. Think of it as giving me a cheap thrill, like I get to peek at you through a window.
Here is mine. I have only told this to three people to date, but of course not to those is directly affects.
Sammy died. But he came back. In fact, it goes beyond reincarnation, it is like he never left. Get it? So far no one has noticed. Can you?
Here is mine. I have only told this to three people to date, but of course not to those is directly affects.
Sammy died. But he came back. In fact, it goes beyond reincarnation, it is like he never left. Get it? So far no one has noticed. Can you?
Sammy circa August 2005
Sammy circa March 2006
It wasn't a decision I made lightly. In fact I was quite upset about the situation. For various reasons, and the timing, and numerous solicited opinions, the decision was made to simply 'replace' him. I haven't even told them an actual 'white lie' but just not telling them the truth is so very hard. I always promised myself that I would be open & honest with my children, and have even answered some inquiries that has caused some concern - all from telling the truth. I guess there are some things a three year old really shouldn't know, yet.
Go for it. It may even be therapeutic, in a sense (?).
posted by nancy at 12:03 AM
9 Comments:
Oh, that looks just like Petey
Tough. I don't tend to lie. I may not tell you what I think, but I won't lie about it, is omission lying? Although I do tend to tell white lies to keep people from feeling bad. YES...I am a whimp.
I guess the biggest LIE I have told was about me cycling and doing IVF. My family and my hubbies still don't know and will not. It's not that it's a big secert but it's not something that will ever come up in coversation and we have just decided not to talk about it to THEM. Also once a mother of one of my daughters friends came right out and asked if I did IVF right in Front of my daughter. I automaticly said no, becasue she did not know at the time. She does now.
I will do this Anonymously but Nancy you know who I am.
This is my same 'dilemma' about 'omission', is that also a lie of sorts? Or is it more like protecting others from something, or perhaps protecting ourselves from having to deal with what we don't really want to. Do we really know?
I'm bad for "white lies". Everything from "this old thing? It's been in the closet for months" in response to Beloved noticing a new item of clothing that miraculously appeared in the laundry, to "I'm sorry, but the Wiggles Web site is closed today. Maybe we can try again tomorrow. Now go play while Mommy checks her e-mail."
I would have done the same thing about the fish. When I was around five, my folks had to put our dog down. Long story, but I thought he had run away until I was well into my 20s and the truth slipped out one day.
And I personally don't see any problem with not telling everybody every detail of your life, in the more significant comment above.
I do believe in karma, though, so I try never to tell a fib that might come true and bite me in the arse, like "Sorry, one of the boys is sick so we can't make it to the party." Sure as shit, one of the boys will be sick within the day. This happens to me every time I 'plan' a sick day at work, too. (checks over shoulder for boss)
I've tried really hard not to slip with the "white" lies, or the ones by omission. But, I blew off having a friend over for dinner on Tuesday, because everything was running late and Josie was fussy (and um, if you read the post, I er...wasn't feeling a hundred percent.) We had a late nap, and I just never called. I feel kind of rotten, because I like her, and I'm almost brave enough to say, "I just blew it off", but I'm the master of avoidance sometimes.
white lies, innocuous if their purpose is to protect people, and can really be an art form as I'm thinking of all the ones I came up with as a teenager:
"going for a sleepover at my girlfriends ;)!"
"going on a week-end camping trip, yep, just girls mom ;)"
"cleaning up puke in bedroom...that food last night didn't agree with me mom ;)"
Oh my kids won't be able to pull anything over me, I've been there, done that
Nancy, I've done the switch the dead fish for a new one, worked the first time only :(
And then the biggest fib of all, something hubby and I swore on, not to tell anyone of our IF and twin's conception, to me its not a fib, just an omission as in it's personal, but thank God I've met some people I've beena ble to discuss this openly with, was totally therapeutic and with them I fell I am living in total truth, liberating.
This is a small thing, but the most recent. I forgot to call my painter when I saw he had left his lunch cooler in my garage, and when he picked it up two days later, I felt so bad that I pretended I hadn't seen it. I still feel bad about both forgetting to call him and then white lying about it. Absolve me, Sister Nancy.
--Mel
Hmmmm,
I'm finding this one really hard and don't want to participate. I think it's because white lies make me feel icky and I don't want to admit to them. I was going to post an anonymous one but then thought you'd all think it was me because I didn't post a non-anonymous one.
Well, we're off for a vacation tomorrow, so if there are any other UU topics that are equally revealing that I don't respond to, that's why.
Jebber
P.S. OK ... once I returned a pillow to the store that I didn't like and said I had never used it. I used it one night ... well not even one night because it was way too firm.
Nancy I think it's alittle of both We don't want to deal with hurting someone so we lie and don't want to guilted into doing whatever it is they want. Cause ifYOU tell the real reason then human natural willt ake over and the guilt will be worse than the guilt of the white lie.
So I guess I do white lie. BUT I try not to do it too often casue as Dani says It comes back to bite me in the butt.
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