Monday, May 29, 2006

No warning

None of you warned me. Phooey on you. NO ONE ever warned me how emotional a day can be when your children turn four years old. Holy shit! The gamet of emotions was beyond any applicable coping mechanisms for more than a few moments.

Why is it so hard? Is it cause we don't want them to grow up? Or cause we do? Is it cause they just make us so damn proud of what both they have accomplished, as well as us as parents? Parent? Me? MOI? A parent? WTF is that? I still feel like a teenager most of the time (with a few more aches, pains and aging issues). How can it be me? How can I be so lucky? SO blessed to have these two beautiful boys growing up before my eyes. LITERALLY.

Nobody warned me about how flipping fast four years can go past. Here is 4 years: 48 months or 1461 days or 35 064 hours or 2 103 840 minutes or 126 230 400 seconds. How can one's heart get fuller and fuller with each second, approaching a billion - can it burst?? Not a chance.

There are days I swear someone has physically grown overnight. Not just the pants that are 3 inches above the ankles, but about that kid skipping along ahead of me in Zellers today, not my kid, cause that's a KID. I have babies. Now, where the hell is my baby? Holy crap - it's HIM!!!

The older one, thanking everyone for his gifts, hugging them, totally unprompted, saying "Thank you Gramps, you're the best Gramps". Then doing the same for cousins, aunts, uncles, and when he got to my husband's cousin's husband (got that?), he did the hug thing and said "Thanks Mick, you are the best... (pause pause pause) ...???? Mick!" Followed by a speech informing us all that "I bring everyone all my love". I shit you not. Here it is:

Then the next morning, Patty on Kids' CBC read their birthday stars on TV. I think they thought it was kool, but didn't get anywhere near as excited as I was. I was in tears. It just seemed SO. DAMN. COOL. I taped it, never gonna erase it. I'll eventually never be able to show them since VHS will soon be a thing only in the history books right next to the beta tapes, but I'll always have it, stored in more ways than one.

So now my boys are boys. They are four years old. Unbelievable. Here I go, crying again.

Slowly steps away shaking head in disbelief...


Blogger BeachMama said...

Sounds like you have some real gentlemen on your hands. Hubby thinks I am cracked because I still cry at how much I love "J", wait until I tell him you are crying at their 4th birthday!!!
I am not sure why we still cry, but I don't think it will go away. My Mom still gets emotional and her youngest is 22!!!

You can transfer VHS to DVD, some machines even come with the DVD recorder (cheap, cheap).

Glad that it was the happiest of birthdays!

6:20 AM EDT  
Blogger Silver Creek Mom said...

OH Nancy each year is aweful for me. The worst for me is 5, Miranda started school and I knew it would be a blink and she would be gratuatiing...look who's gratuating in one YEAR from now! I'm going to have a worst time with 16...Driving boyfriends. SIGH!

Nathan turns 5 this summer and is off to school and before I blink he will be gratuating too. I won't feel old enough to have that many kids that old. I'm still 20 and in great shape!

And if you want bring me the tape and I can copy it to dvd for you. I have down my baby shower for Miranda and her Birthday star on TVO kids and hello Syndey when she was on that.

And I won't even charge.

8:35 AM EDT  
Blogger DaniGirl said...

Speaking of warning, couldja warn a girl that she might need a kleenex or two by the time she finishes reading your blog next time? Sniff, sniff...

I'm so glad the birthday party was excellent, and so proud of your boys! Not babies, my friend, but smart, sweet, handsome, 100% BOYS!!

9:25 AM EDT  
Blogger twinmomplusone said...

Oh nancy, I'm crying here right alongside you. Yes our babies are gone. We have little kids now. We love them so much and exponentially too. And they say the cutest things like yours did. Which just shows me how appreciative (not spoiled) your boys are and loving too.

Very cool about getting their birthday stars with patty.

Hugs my friend

12:57 PM EDT  
Blogger Marla said...

Lovely. Can't even find something pithy to say because it's just too nice.

10:00 AM EDT  
Anonymous Beanie Baby said...

Happy Birthday!

8:35 PM EDT  

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