Tuesday, January 31, 2006


It's been a rough week, but not personally. Just rough, at least I think so.

Yesterday in Montreal, a family buried their 17 year old daughter. She died. She was killed. She was murdered. Here is one of the good ones. From what I have heard, she knew about a co-worker who was stealing money. She told her supervisors. They fired him. They did not lay any charges for his theft, they just got rid of him, gave him a chance if you ask me. Out of revenge, he murdered her. Now she has lost her life, and he will spend his in jail. Don't you think simply losing your job at the gas bar, getting off easy was a good deal? What a loser. Meanwhile, I am driving the kids home from preschool, I can barely see the raod through the tears while listening to the news report from her funeral.

Last friday, in a suburb right next to mine, a young 34 year old mother was taking a walk with her 18 month old daughter, pushing her in the stroller. They were slammed by a vehicle, they flew 10 metres into the air, landed in someone's driveway. The next day that young mother of two died from her injuries. The child and driver are fine (physically). Due to someone driving just a little too fast around a corner, now a 5 month old baby girl, an 18 month old toddler, a young husband, her sisters, parents, grandparents have suffred great loss. The family is completely devastated. Every time I think of it I feel either sick to my stomach or cry. I mostly cry. The children will be alright, but I think of her husband, the father to those precious girls. Incomprehensible.

I am sorry to be a downer. I do believe ever since I became pregnant, then a parent, events like these hit me so much harder then ever before. Not that I wasn't compassionate before, but I can literally feel the physical pain of such tragedy and loss. Is this common with other new parents?

This week I have found myself ignoring my menial chores ever more so than usual. For what? To simply look at my kids. In fact I have played with them so much more than usual I have been told to go away. So I watch them. Usually I take such opportunities to run around like a headless chicken trying to at least half accomplish something. Not these days. So yes, there are dust bunnies procreating at exponential speeds and laundry piling high. I'll get to it, really I will, maybe tomorrow, or maybe I'd rather do 3 hours of playdough.


Blogger Lori Stewart Weidert said...

Cleaning and scrubbing can wait til tomorrow;

For babies grow up, we've learned to our sorrow;

So quiet down cobwebs, dust go to sleep;

I'm rocking my baby, and babies don't keep.

—Ruth Hamilton

I think once you become a parent, you take things more personally. My son is almost 20 now, and we've cleared all the childhood/adolescent hurdles...and still there are days when I have to turn off the news. I don't think it will ever go away.

9:16 PM EST  
Blogger Carol said...

I hope you will never be afraid of being a downer. Life is a downer, at the best of time. It is nice to laugh to get away from it but not so as to bury your head from it all the time.

10:30 PM EST  
Blogger SRH said...

Once one is a parent things on the news do change. They definitely become more pointiant. I love watching my little one, but I cannot stand the smell of playdough. So we find other things to do.

7:38 AM EST  
Blogger DaniGirl said...

Great poem, gnightgirl!

Nancy, I hear you. Some days my skin is very thin to things like that, mostly when I'm feeling a little down myself. And your reaction is the best possible one - hold those babies tightly, and never let them forget how much you love them.


8:35 AM EST  
Blogger Silver Creek Mom said...

Yup...being a parent does change how you look at the world. Miranda was a big change n me and now all kids need my proctetion...even if they are little devils. I can't not help a child. Then after waiting soo long to have Nathan things changed again. Now I fear silently that I won't be around long enough to see all that he will become. I'm glad he has Miranda to be there for him.
The thing that makes me the happiset though is when they spend time together and I hear them laughing and saying...I love you Miranda or vise versa.

I'd do 3 hours of playduh anyday over house work...Blech! House stays...Kids grow and change we need to be there for that!

Hugs to you Nancy.
I will say prayers for those others.

10:03 AM EST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A friend once told me that as soon as you have children, you look at anything bad happening to any child and immediately imagine it happening to your child. Needless to say, she was so very right, and everything hits so very close to home...

10:25 AM EST  
Blogger Suzanne said...

Yes, I definitely "feel" stories like this deep in my heart, in a way that I didn't before I had children. I'm constantly made aware now of how fragile our hold on everything in life is.

2:05 PM EST  
Blogger Unknown said...

Why do you think I'm not posting lately? It's not like my house is getting any cleaner. Blogging makes you care about people you don't know, and it's posts like yours today that make me want to come over and have a coffee while the kids grow before our eyes. Being a parent makes you care about everyone - everyone was someone's sweet baby once, and look what becomes of some of us. Nobody wants to grow up and kill someone (I hope), but moreso, nobody wants to be that person's parent.

3:05 PM EST  
Blogger BeachMama said...

Nancy, I feel your pain and heartache. I felt the same last fall when the young girl was killed right here in our neighbourhood. They have not caught the guys yet, but word out there is that she knew them. I didn't sleep for days.
Sometimes when you are running around like a chicken it does take someone else's loss to make you stop and remember how precious life is. Play with the playdoh, the dustbunnies will be there for you next week :)


3:44 PM EST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes, those stories and others hit me hard too.

Go ahead and play with the kids, hug them and take pictures and video of them. You will never regret it! Our trio are growing up way too fast, and I'd love to have a toddler or preschooler day with them again.

Maybe you can throw in a load of laundry after their bedtime?


3:53 PM EST  
Blogger Gawdessness said...

Such terrible things!
My heat goes out to them all and I truly understand what you mean about it making your week a bit tougher.

5:09 PM EST  
Blogger twinmomplusone said...

Parenthood definitely brings this inborn desire to protect our offsprings. We want to shield them from all that's bad out there and we become ever so sensitive to all the dangers lurking. Ever since I've become a parent I shy away from the news, stories like the ones you mentioned upset me too much. The one of the 17 year old happened in my old neighbourhood in Montreal so that one felt a little closer.

Remember over 2 years ago my husband was shot at during a burglary, our llves have never been the same since. We don't take anything for granted and we hug and make time for each other as much as we can.

So go ahead and enjoy that playdough and especially your precious boys at this most magical time in their lives, screw the dustbunnies. Heck, I am ;)

9:44 PM EST  
Blogger Ann D said...

I totally understand what you're feeling. Your heart instantly aligns with the hearts of other mothers when you hear these stories.

12:43 AM EST  
Blogger halloweenlover said...

Oh my goodness, what heartbreak. My mom has often told me that once you have a child, your perspective on life totally changes. Terrible news hurts so much more.

1:47 PM EST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh yes. I think that happens to everyone.

7:18 AM EST  

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