Monday, August 27, 2007

When does it matter, and should it, really

One of the best things (to me) it being so proud for them, even in the simplest of tasks, like dressing oneself.

B loves to pick his own clothes, and dress himself. He takes such pride in doing it all on his own, right down to doing up the buttons, even if they are crooked. I do straighten them out for him, when he asks.

There are more times than others, when he doesn't really "match". I am not a believer than mismatched clothing on a 5 year old is a fashion faux pas. You can always identify the self-dressers when at the library, the park or the grocery store. I think it is adorable.

Today B dressed himself, comes into my room, "How do I look, Mom?" I held back the gasp at the bright red athletic shorts with the orange and brown plaid dress shirt all buttoned up, and said, "Great my love, but do you think that shirt really goes well with those shorts?" and then was immediately pissed off at myself for saying it. He replied in the calmest of manners, "I don't care if they don't match." To which I replied, "No problem, but remember, we are going to the store later." (Again, statement totally unwarranted but just to protect his ego even in the smallest of ways)

I then get this look, of complete innocence, yet a touch of sophistication (the kind that comes with pride) and says, "Why does that matter?"

I answered, "It doesn't." and he skipped off downstairs to continue his Batman colouring marathon.

It melts my heart when they are so naive, yet so genuinely in tune with themselves. They truly do not care what others think. I love that as much as it worries me.

When does that change? And does it even matter when it does? Or should it?


Blogger Laurie said...

"Why does that matter?", indeed. B is wise beyond his years.

I love how preschoolers are just so sure of themselves. So untouched/unfazed by the "shoulds" that we grown-ups listen to, sometimes too often....

{sigh} I wish I was more like Mr. B.

9:34 PM EDT  
Blogger BeachMama said...

Ahhh you are a good Mom Nancy. Just yesterday J picked out his own clothes (which usually goes well) and he picked multi-coloured plaid shorts and a sporty tank top with a lobster on it. Opa was fine with him dressing like that, I on the other hand just couldn't do it. J was fine with me changing his shorts, but why couldn't I let him just go the way he picked it out to be? Somehow, I just couldn't do it.

Kudos to you.

7:46 AM EDT  
Blogger nancy said...

Thanx ladies.

And Anna - why the hell aryou commenting on blogs when you should be doing other things, like, shall we say - having a baby!!

8:49 AM EDT  
Anonymous valerie said...

I have a really hard time leaving it alone, but I try (and fail to keep my mouth shut 1/2 the time). Sarah has been picking her own clothes since she was little. S.L.O.W.L.Y. I've been letting go of "suggesting" that some things just aren't right. She's always had strong opinions and doesn't seem to care what I think, but I don't want her to remember me as always critisizing, either. So I TRY to keep it to "seasonal" suggestions (as in, "it's snowing outside, you may not have bare legs"). And I hide any clothes that I truly dislike. ;)

11:23 AM EDT  
Blogger Silver Creek Mom said...

GOOD FOR YOU! I always smiled (and I'm sure they chuckle at me who's son never matches) knowingly at the kids who's socks match the pants and the shirt matched the pants. I know who dressed them in the morning. It doesn't seem to bother me when nathan dresses himself HEY they are in this phase for such a short time. AND ME WHO MIXES & MATCHES clothes for a living. I love self expression in the young all to soon they are peer presssured into wearing Designer labels and a certain style of clothes.

I say let them ROCK in what they want!

2:59 PM EDT  
Anonymous snackmommy said...

Oh Nancy, I try so hard to do what you did and I fail miserably. Even if my tone is off when I say Tristan looks great in his mismatched clothing, he can sense it and goes off and changes, which makes me feel even more horrible that he's doing it to please me. Ugh, now I feel like crap.

9:25 AM EDT  

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