Sunday, August 19, 2007

Let's talk about...


OK ok ok....enough already, I know I am way late with the report from the bestest family vacation EV-AH! It's coming, hopefully soon. But for the moment, I gotta talk about...poo.

My boys have absolutely no interest in wiping their own butts. None. We have been preparing (warning?) them that they will learn how before starting school.

This is the now.

Needless to say, one night during our vacation, this question was posed in the middle of supper, "How many more sleeps till we go home?" And after a rather lengthy and amusing conversation, it was solved that the question stemmed from one very disappointed boy who said, "I don't wanna go home cause then I have to wipe my own bum."

Yes my dear, yes, you do.

Now we are in the now. We are working on it. As one may expect, one guy doing a wee bit better than the other. Hopefully it will all work out, and he won't continue to wipe all leftover excrement all the way up his back by September 4. We are really working on that part of the deal.

The other guy? Totally creeped out. He gets all anxious and doesn't wanna get dirty, and even when I HELP him with the process, he is at warp speed to the sink to wash his hands. Tonight cracked me up though. Being the fruit & veggie lover that he is, shall we say he is commonly a softer than harder pooper, make sense? Tonight was no difference. It was a little soft, a triple wipe required. He was NOT impressed. But, are you ready for this?

He gagged.

I did everything I could to just continue to normal pace, not to make a deal out of it, in hopes of teaching him that this is just the way it is, not a big deal, we'll just wash our hands a little longer and all is clean.

He literally gagged.

OK, I cracked up. I explained to him that I'd been cleaning his bum every day of his 5 years, almost 3 months of his life, and that I do it every time with love. That didn't help.

Have you ever seen that America's Funniest Videos collage of all the man gagging while changing diapers? Just like that. Wiping his OWN butt.

So, any tricks to pass along to my anti-wipers that will make the process easier for them?


Blogger Marni said...

THAT is hilarious! Bless his little heart.

Let me warn you, though. My son - who is 12 - still has a hard time wiping his bum. I will go into his bathroom and see where he has gotten it on his finger (I think) and has wiped in on the toilet seat. GROSSSSSSS!

8:00 AM EDT  
Blogger Marisa said...

No advice here, just laughter at all this poop talk.

And I also want to add that just when I think that my kid is the only one who will be enrolled in Toilet Wiping 101 this week, out comes another mommy with the same teaching plan. LOL

We should compare notes when the semester is over. ;-)

8:07 AM EDT  
Blogger Silver Creek Mom said...

Not much makes me LOL! But I literaly LOL!

Poor kid. I think he's gonna be a holder. You know the ones that won't poo unless they are at home and when they get home Watch OUT!

I clue how to help you with this one and I have a stranger one comingup in a few blogs. (It has to deal with clothes) HORRORS!

8:17 AM EDT  
Blogger Marla said...

Sweet Jebus no - I have no real advice, but the gagging is HIlarious.

But, and you don't want to hear this, they may NEVER get it, judging by some of the skiddy gotchies that end up in our laundry from a male person I can only allude to but if I could hint, I'd say that I'm married to him...

I might say though, that Josephine is having the same problem, but I've figured out what her deal is. Her bum is so young and firm and tight that it's hard to get right up in there. So I've recommended to her that she bend waaaay over when she does it, as that spreads the cheeks a bit (When I'm doing it, I say "grab yer ankles!") and I can zoom in a bit better. She has her father's bum. (Sigh) I should have that problem.

8:20 AM EDT  
Anonymous danigirl said...

Oh oh oh, I may have to use the bathroom myself after laughing that hard at the post and subsequent comments!!

We're still battling that one out with Tristan. He will call and ask me to do it, and I will absolutely not. He cajoles, begs, and just sits there, but I refuse. Eventually, he does it himself, and the gotchies (snicker) have been relatively skid-free (snort) so far.

It's a long process... we're on month 6 of "wipe yer own darn butt" and he still pleads for ass(giggle)isstance.

Now if someone could just tell me how to get Simon to even poop on the potty???

8:57 AM EDT  
Anonymous brenda said...

Oh dear!

I have no words of advice for you here. Wish I did though to make yours and his life is something he is going to have to just come to trems with...a lifetime skill that has to be mastered!

Is it smell, texture or thought of it that is making him gag? If it is smell, get him to plug his nose with the other hand, texture, a bit more paper, instead of 4 squares maybe 5, if it is just the thought of it, try to get him to vision something else.

4:39 PM EDT  
Blogger BeachMama said...

I wish I had advice, but we are dealing with similar issues here. I mean in learning to wipe the butt. Not the gaging. I fel terrible for the little guy as it must be so repulsive for him to have to wipe his own butt. Eventually he won't want you in the room anyway so it will all work out in the end.

I will add that a certain teenager I know still doesn't wipe properly (I know this from the laundry) and I wonder if all guys are like that as Hubby just said to buy him black underwear. Oh, and J won't wear underwear if they get a skid!

4:59 PM EDT  
Blogger MamaLee said...

Oh my! You know that I can relate to this poop thing - and I hate to say it, but he'll have to work it out, and hopefully soon. Have you tried those "kandoo" wipes that are something like babywipes, but they can be flushed? My kids like those - they clean the bums better, too.

And some times Pumpkin liked to have his sister Princess help him wipe. Oh LOVELY. Glad he got over THAT. THAT wouldn't go well in school - him yelling for his sister in the pre-k room to come to help him wipe. NO!

All is much better here, and I wish you the same! xoxo

8:45 AM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You poor woman! That is a serious case of not wanting to do the job. I had no probs with my daughter, but my sis had loads of trouble with my nephew. Buying those "Kan-doos" really helped her.

tooth whitening

4:36 PM EDT  

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