Friday, November 17, 2006


(gotta try to avert those perverted trolls who so love the interweb)

Do you allow your kids to see you nekkid? Are you comfortable with it? I've often wondered.

When I was growing up, my parents were very honest and open about bathing, getting dressed in front of us. They weren't flaunting anything, nor doing the vaccuuming in the nude, but it just wasn't a secret. Both genders of parents seemed 'ok' with their children, also one of each gender seeing their bits. It was never really an issue in our house, well, until pre-pubescency arrived, and then it was just an unwritten, unverbalized understanding, and by then both my brother and I seemed ready to hide from each other...good time as any.

My boys see me nekkid. Likely more often than they'd like, or care to. But since it has never really been an issue, it doesn't seem to cause any alarm. In fact, the only real questions I have been asked are "Why don't you have a penis?" and "When will I get boobies instead of buttons?". Both inquiries were answered and they haven't been mentioned since. In fact, they seem to have more of in interest and curiosity about my bra. When I explained it was part of underwear for ladies, they laughed their asses off AT me.

I do wonder though, if this is alright? Are there norms? guidelines? by-laws? As usual, little boys LOVE to run around in the buff letting it all hang out, but just most recently B doesn't want anyone to see his bum. I respect that, but also try to downplay his concerns, expecially when among family. His concerns are more when we are at the swimming pool getting changed. I just don't know where it came from. Should I ask him? I don't wanna start anything that doesn't yet need identifying. I want them to be comfortable about who they are.

The other morning T brought me a ringing phone while I was in the shower, and then he promptly reminded me to be careful not to get soap in my eyes. The comfort level is obviously there, there are no secrets and there have been times where I've had two little ones playing at my feet while sitting on the john (tmi? sorry).

Anyway, not that I think we will change the approach in our house, but if you care to share, I'd am curious to know what goes on in your family and why.


Blogger Coffeypot said...

It is perfectly okay to be natural in front of your kids. It’s only in America, and the last century that nerds and prudes have tried to make you feel guilty. In the old countries and in the founding of this country large families lived in one or two room shacks. Everything was done with, in front of or around the family. Privacy issues come as natural as growing facial hair or starting periods.

The only time it becomes a problem for the young is when you make stuff taboo or deny permission. Then it becomes a challenge for the kids to see if they can “get away with” doing the taboo stuff. Just relax and let the kids be kids and let nature take it’s course in deciding when someone needs their privacy. At least they will know that if they had questions or concerns that they could come to you and feel, if not comfortable, at least somewhat comfortable in talking to you.

BTW, I’m a kid at heart. Can I see?

2:50 PM EST  
Blogger BeachMama said...

We are pretty open here. Not with A as he has always been shy, ever since he was a wee one. But, J is ok. He also understands that sometimes we want privacy in the potty and that is ok too. He has asked why I don't have a penis like he and Daddy, and he was told, but so far that is it. He also wasn't a big nekkid running boy until he was almost two, but now he is happy to run and jingle his dingleberries :).

3:11 PM EST  
Blogger jo(e) said...

When my kids were little, I was fine with them seeing me naked. As they hit puberty, I began being more careful to get dressed and undressed in the bedroom, etc., not so much because of my own kids but because I always have lots of extra kids in my house and I just figured it's better not to be naked in front of a bunch of teenage boys I am not related to.

Up at camp in the summer, where it's an extended family situation and we are all related, most of the family is pretty casual about changing into bathing suits and that kind of a thing. Every once in a while one of the kids will go through some "modesty" stage, and we just respect that and let the kid go change in the tent or something.

I think there's a pretty wide range of "normal."

3:14 PM EST  
Anonymous carolann said...

we are quite open around here also!! as we have 3 girls, who are getting older (sigh,) dad is getting more conscious of covering up as he walks from the bathroom to the bedroom after a shower. but it is no big deal if they walk in on him in the shower or while getting dressed in the bedroom. they too are very comfortable with their bodies and nekkidness!!
So, yeah, I too, basically live in a nudist camp!!

1:31 AM EST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We allow the kids to see us nekkid. BUT, now that J-man is getting older he thinks it is gross to see me or Carl that way and averts his eyes if he feels uncomfortable. But HIM? No shame Both kids would run around nekkid 24/7 if we let 'em.

7:33 AM EST  
Anonymous andrea from the fishbowl said...

I don't do gardening or fry bacon in the nude or go out of my way to be nekkid.

But when I'm getting dressed or in or out of the shower I don't made a big deal out of it or hide. Mine are 5 and 7, they ask a lot of questions and like to make factual statements.

"MOM your arms are jiggly!"

Who else would deign to tell you that?

9:11 AM EST  

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