Sunday, October 23, 2005


That is the sound of me…bursting. With pride. How is it possible that one or two three year old boys can have me literally shaking with excitement about something they do. Not just one thing, many. I’ll use an example. We recently started skating lessons, I would say they were going less than okay. As we approached the third week (30 minute lesson, once/week) all we wanted them to do was try. Just try. Can a 3 year old comprehend how to ‘try your best’. I chatted this up quite a bit the day before and the morning of…in hopes of getting them to at least try. It worked. They did terrific. Sure they fell down, but instead of crying and flopping around on the ice like a dead fish, they got up and tried again. They were actually learning how to skate – alone! (parents sit on sidelines like cheerleaders trying to hide how really nervous they are). And they kept at it for the entire 30 minutes. Was I not just the most proudest mother there? (probably not, but to me in my world I was). THEY DID IT!

I couldn’t get over it. I was so excited I was literally shaking, wanting to burst and explode. All they really did was stand around on their skates and take a few little steps, traversing approx. 4 ½ inches of distance, but it was awesome. Or rather, I was awestruck. I couldn’t stop talking about it as I sat there in the stands, my dad was with me told me to shut-up. That was me, the nauseating and annoying Mommy peeing her pants cause her kids did good. I was so pumped about it I kept talking to myself about it, yes out loud, for the rest of the day.

Then at their next swimming lesson, my little B turned into a fish. I was freaking out, trying to get the teacher to hear me. Hold him! Grab him! Get him! Help him! But what for? The kid just kept on going and going swimming HALF way across to the pool. (Dani – please note – we have been in swimming lessons weekly for over a year – and actually daily from July 1 – Aug 15) and just NOW is he ready for the next level. Again, it was so terrifyingly exhilarating and there I was again, literally bursting at the seams.

When does it end? Will I ever adjust or am I due for a lifetime prescription for valium in order to proceed with this parenting job? Heck, they wanted to learn French so I started teaching them a little. Holy shit! They can learn French and remember it too! Twin A actually has quite the accent and sounds like a bonafide mini-frenchman. Too damn cute when he properly accents his way through “Bonjour Papa”, “Un, deux, trois poissons” and “toute fini”. I am amazed. It really is just getting better and better and there definitely is truth to the ‘teach them while they are young, they are sponges’. Who knew?? I mean, who really knew?? Really!!

Then of course there is the bestest of the best ever when you get a totally unscripted and out of the blue “I love you Mommy, you are special cause you are our Mommy” and the like. Or wait, one more “Don’t worry Mommy, I love you” How can one not be brought down to her knees in tears while literally melting away. I don’t wanna melt away, I want more.

I think one of my intentions to share this is not only to shamelessly brag about my superstars, but as I sit here, type this and shake my head in disbelief at the actual physiological responses my body goes through when I experience such things. Not just emotionally or mentally, but physically ‘bursting’. Do you know what I mean? Am I getting through? I hope I am making sense, and I truly hope that any of you who may read this and are a parent that you also experience such feelings. And then you can pass me the valium, cause we aren’t done yet.


Blogger BeachMama said...

Wow, Nancy, what accomplishments! It would seem that the boys are all of a sudden coming in to their own and that all the things they are learning are "clicking". I can totally understand the willingness to shake or burst at the seams. Although I am not "A"'s natural Mom, I have been bursting for him for quite a few years. The first time he rode a bike, the first time without training wheels. The first time he dove into the pool and swam all the way accross. I am going to get to go through all those things again, but on a different level this time. Scarey enough, I have already experienced the slapshot, goalie, stick handling, soccer star, golf pro, and the newest the fish in the bathtub.

All these things make you burst at the seams and you are not alone yelling and cheering them along. Your Dad may not hear me from his house, but we are yelling and cheering here too.

Anna - Willing to introduce French soon too.

7:22 AM EDT  
Anonymous peefer said...

Hi Nancy. 'Wild isn't it? A billion children in this world all doing the same thing (well, maybe not all skating), and parents bursting everywhere. But who cleans up the mess?

9:52 AM EDT  
Blogger Silver Creek Mom said...


Miranda has given me 15 years of pride and proud moments. She still does. And bursting is the right word. I still can't believe I'm the mom to 2 smart cookies who love to learn. Now Nathan is not one to do something he doesn't want to and that's ok. ( I had to learn that skill letting him lead) But he makes me proud every day. Like yesterday on the way home from Church...Mommy, Daddy I'm going to name that Mountian Zodiac. Where did he hear that word?

Congrats to the troops for just going out and trying and trying and trying again. It's a great feeling isn't when they try their bestest.

Hugs to the proud momma

10:50 AM EDT  
Blogger Pete said...

Nancy, I know EXACTLY what you mean. Isn't is great how they are like little sponges? I look at myself and wonder how they got so smart! And then I get so scared I am going to do something to screw it up!

I also watch my kids do things like learn how to ice skate and swim. I just want to run and hold them up and keep them from EVER falling! But I am so proud too when they do and then get back up and keep trying until they get it.

I think the only time I ever really have peace is when I know they are all tucked in safe in their beds at night. And even then, I still sometimes jump out of a dead sleep and run around to their rooms, making sure they are all OK!

10:56 AM EDT  
Blogger DaniGirl said...

Yes yes yes!! I am so familiar with that "proud to bursting" moment - as a matter of fact, felt it for the Troops just reading your blog!! I think we get that feeling as compensation for all the hair-pulling, foot-stomping tantrum moments (ours, not theirs) that also go with the territory.

I also feel that "I'm dying of love" feeling without fail each night when I peek in on them as they sleep before I stagger off to bed.

Great post!

PS I was thinking about skating lessons, but am on the fence as to this winter or next. BUT, the swim teacher told me yesterday he thinks Tristan has a good chance of passing level 1 after all! YAY!

12:05 PM EDT  
Blogger nancy said...

Thanx everyone!

Peefer - I don't clean up the mess, which is why my house is a f-ing mess.

Dani - I would wait on the skating lessons, as I would've been more than happy to do, but you see, we have this little bit of 'pressure' in this family to start skating a.s.a.p...hmph.

12:56 PM EDT  
Anonymous Beanie Baby said...

Awwww. That's too great. I would have been just the same way. In fact, I already am---"Do you see her walking? Is that not the bestest, greatest walking ever?" It's quite nauseating.

1:26 PM EDT  
Blogger Running2Ks said...

That is just wonderful. It is one of the greatest reasons to have children--to watch them grow, and accomplish, and learn. They surprise you and surpass what you could imagine.

Nothing is more special than a child's love. And many congrats on their huge milestones!

2:52 PM EDT  
Blogger nancy said...

testing something?

4:36 PM EDT  

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