A combination of incongruous things, A miscellaneous anthology or collection,
A mixture of dried flower petals and spices used to scent the air,
You'll get it all here, but it isn't gonna smell pretty
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
It's raining...really raining
Everything changes once you have children, yes, I mean everything.
The path of hurricane Katrina is here. It's gonna be a very rainy day. As much as I love a good old fashioned rain-all-day-never-stops rainy day, this one feels a little bit different. Not simply cause I have two 3 year olds and can't curl up all day with a cup of tea and read my fabourite chick-lit, and not cause we'll end up a little shack whacky (even though I was making promises at 7 AM to go outside to jump in the puddows), but rather cause of *this* rain.
After reading, hearing and seeing what Katrina has done to some of our US neighbours, it really makes me think. How would I feel, what would I be doing if I had been evacuated from my home, told not to return for days (weeks?) simply cause (1) there is nothing left and (2) it is too dangerous. My first thoughts race to the kids, would they be ok?
I have heard two interviews on the radio with people directly affected. On TV - the first was an older couple, their house completely demolished right down to them only being able to find a bottle of wine and some ceramic cat ornament, and nothing else. But, through a few tears and a quivering chin, they were able to say we are OK, they have each other, they knew their families are OK, the saddest thing to the woman was the loss of her family photos. They will re-build, even though at the moment they have no where to go. Where DO people like them go?? The other was on the radio, an older gentleman trying to explain his situation between sobs. He has lost his wife. The last time he saw her was just prior to the storm and she went to check on something/someone (didn't quite get that part) and asked him to take care of the children and the grandchildren till she returned. He hasn't seen her since. The interviewer was terrific, offering to help, asking his name, her name, anyone who they might know to contact him by blurting out his cell phone # on the radio (how generous is that?). I am listening to this poor man who didn't care that he and his family were SITTING ON A FLOATING CAR/ROOF but that he lost his wife. He did manage to say he was gaining strength from being able to hug his children and his grandchildren. I lost it, I was crying, tears flowing into my coffee. I have no clue how I would manage, but i have to think we would, somehow. I sincerely hope both those families can get through this, as well as the millions of others who are affected.
To mirror Cali Kay's comments, I am also a little put off at those who compare this to the December 2004 Tsunami disaster. I realize, perhaps it is all relative to one person directly when they lose their home and family but 'on the whole' I can only hope that we (as a society) can be a little bit thankful that the # of deaths are drastically less than the 150 000+++ that was felt from the tsunami. This in thanx to being forewarned. I agree with Anna's comments on Cali's post, there was warning. This warning system saved thousands, hundreds of thousands, unlike the total surprise of the tsunami.
Holy shit, I am emoting a little bit too much after only one cup of coffee. But, instead of having my second at the moment, I think we will now go outside to jump in the puddows.
AMENDMENT (two hours has passed) : I don't want to come across in any way that I think the hurricane is any less of a serious matter as was the tsunami. I guess I am thankful that thousands of lives were saved, but I am very aware of the tremendous devastation that has occurred. I have been listening to the radio off & on all morning. There are constant mentions about all the rain we are getting which may cause some flooding on the freeway and OMG the horrors, they may have to close a lane or two which will make traffic, esp. rush hour a horrific experience. Horrific? That the commuters have to take a different route home? Or that they may be an hour or two late getting home? Yes, "horrific" is how the not-so-bright traffic lady put it. When I see the picture on the front page of the newspaper and a major city in the US is entirely under water and there is mention that residents may not get to return to there homes for months?? Now that is what I call horrific, not the fact that Beloved may not be home for dinner, at least we are appreciative enough to still have our home.
I need a hero I'm holding out for at hero 'till the end of the night He's gotta be strong And he's gotta be fast And he's gotta be fresh from the fight Oh, and he’s gotta be squeaky clean in every facet or he’s no good
Why is it so hard these days to NOT have any ‘heroes’? Why must society turn against anything possibly good and find something bad/wrong/negative/questionable/accusatory about whoever the potential good guy may be. This whole Lance Armstrong doping allegations has me thinking. Maybe he did, maybe he didn’t, I don’t really care cause that isn’t my point. You see? I am a very nice and accepting person about the other, I like everyone, until you ‘wrong’ me (or really piss me off). I’ll trust just about anyone until you give me good reason not to. So, until it can be proven 110% that he used the banned substance, (within all the current published regulations by all the current governing bodies) then who am I to question?
This is what pisses me off. Here we have a chance to truly enjoy someone being well, (sorry, I really need to find another word) HERO. And all we do (mainly pointing finger at nasty media who starts it all) is find something to take that away. He did a pretty f-ing amazing thing, dontcha think? Sure, there are many out there who have just reason to question his credibility, his truthfulness or not, but where the hell is ‘innocent till proven guilty’? (ignoring intruding thoughts of O.J. & M.J. here – my blog, I can be a little selective, no?).
I realize some of the details from this story go back to some urine samples/tests from 1999 or thereabouts…trying not to get on the ethical debate here…but how far back do we go? Does this mean we drug test everyone retroactively and disturb Johnny Weissmuller and Jesse Owens from their peaceful rest and ask them to pee – just in case we can strip all of their World records and Olympic Gold medals away? Ay yi yi.
I want to go back and savour the success, excitement and accomplishments of some of my heroes and idols such as Terry Fox, Nadia Comaneci, and Helen Keller (just to name a few). They were good, it was all good. Now society questions every little tiny eff-ing thing such as: New Pope elected! Nope, too old. New Governor General for Canada! Nope, wrong colour, heritage, political background. New Olympic swimming dynamo! Oops, he screwed up too, DUI and not even the legal age to drink. WTF is going on people???
Who is your hero? I have a new one, her name is Emma.
As I was washing my dishes tonight after supper, I was blogging in my head. (what is the technical term for that?) Anyway, here I am, and although I hesitate starting my blogging career on a 'down' note, it really isn't. I can't think of a better way to start things off than in honour of my mom. Today is her birthday, born 1931, 74 years old, adoring grandmother to T & B. She died almost 2 years ago on August 28, 2003. It sucks. I miss her terribly, really, something awful. She was ill, we knew it was going to happen, and what they say it true, it DOES NOT make it any easier, nor does it make it fair. She was 'my world', in a sense. I choose to celebrate her life on her birthday instead of on the anniversary of her death in 3 days.
When do I think of her? When I am driving, walking the dog, hugging my children, in the shower, watching a movie, washing the dishes, etc...you get it. Don't get me wrong, I am not wallowing through life constantly using the kleenex to wipe the tears (although it does happen often, like now), if anything, she is the one who taught me the opposite. There are so many days/moments when I gain strength from her. Like, when my kids are driving me to the looney bin...I remember how well she always (well almost) kept her cool and was such a rock even in the shittiest of situations. I also remember her being human and crying out loud, shedding tears when she wanted (in both sorrow and joy).
My beloved (gawd I love using that term, and thanking Danigirl in advance, hope that's ok to use toots!) has a job which requires him to travel extensively, spanning the globe (currently in Switzerland as I write) which puts me into high single parent mode more than I'd like. My father also traveled very frequently with his job while we were growing up. My mom never once complained. I whine all the time. So many people remind me how well she did it while my dad traveled, I remind them "I am not my mother". I wish I was more like her. I would have more patience, more energy/zest for life, clean house, gourmet meals, volunteer every extra moment left and still have time for me. Some days I feel as though I can barely keep my head above water and all I am doing is making sure my kids aren't eating the dust bunnies for lunch.
I was not able to make it to the cemetery today. I don't go often, don't need to, I talk to her and feel her in every way possible. But today, I wanted to and I didn't. I know she wouldn't think I'd let her down, but it was for me, not her. Back to doing the dishes, I was totally immersed in thinking about her, today on her birthday and how ripped off her grandchildren are for not having the opportunity to know her, love her, experience her and cherish her like they deserve. That is the hardest part for me. She was so happy to FINALLY becoming a Gramma (all that infertility crap to come later) and I do know she saw them, held them and loved them like no one else ever could, heck, B started walking the week she died, so at least I know she saw both of them walking. BUT we so weren't finished, she is missing so much already has.
I am not quite sure where I had intended to go with my inaugural blog, just whatever was crowding my brain today. Sure it was also full of skating lesson registration, eating peach pie with a friend/neighbor, playing with my kidlets...but all day long I was singing Happy Birthday...to my Mom.
Happily married SAHM to six year-old twin boys, Gramps (my dad) lives next door who has two grandsons who idolize him...yadda yadda yadda...I am a cyncial, sarcastic, opinionated, outspoken loudmouth (potty mouth too) who is in love with being a Mommy (on most days) but has something to say about everything. I can't say I like to 'argue' but I enjoy a good heated discussion with opposing views, so lemme have it.